Pour Your Heart Out {1): Deciding to be Happy

 Posted by at 6:12 pm  Family  28 Responses »
Jun 052013
 

I’m tackling something different today and linking up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say for her Pour Your Heart Out Series.  Just writing to let you know what’s been on my mind and get to know me a little better.

Here’s what Pour Your Heart Out is about:

Pour Your Heart Out
Wednesdays

Write a post from the heart.

Something that has been weighing on you.

Something you feel passionately about.

Something you’ve been wanting to talk about.

A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.

Anything.

I don’t want to assign you a topic because I really want this to be from your heart.

The day the doctor puts that cute bundle of joy in your arms for the first time, the guilt starts. Mom guilt. Will I be a good enough mom? Should I work outside the home for a living? Or should I stay home?

The age old debate of working mom vs. stay-at-home mom is never black and white and I truly believe each mom makes the best choice for her family. My oldest son is in middle school and until today, I have worked full-time. I thought it was the best decision given my circumstance. And I say decision, but I didn’t really feel that I had a choice.

I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and the medicine alone that allows me to walk and take care of my family costs upwards of $20,000 a year for someone who is not insured. I need that medicine, I need health insurance to pay for it, and so I need employer’s health insurance to guarantee my medical care. I know my personal health and consequently my family would suffer if I ever become uninsured. So I continued to work. I didn’t want to place the burden of making sure I’m covered on my husband’s shoulders.

After all these years, I’ve come to a cross-roads. The job started becoming too stressful. The stress causes me to flare into joint pain. I can feel the pain start shooting through my body the more I vented my frustrations and feel trapped by the situation. I felt even worse that my stress at work was causing me more stress at home, less patience, more fatigue. I thought I was becoming depressed and that I couldn’t handle the pressure. Something had to give, I couldn’t continue living like that.

My loving and amazing Superhubby has always told me I could stay home after the kids were born. We’d manage financially. Every Sunday, I’d question whether I should quit Monday morning and I kept saying no. Finally last month, I hit my rock bottom and I said yes. Tomorrow is my last day at my employer.

Having the burden of work lifted off of me has already made me start feeling better, emotionally and physically. I feel like I’ve finally been able to choose happiness and go with my heart.  I am ever grateful to my Superhubby for allowing me to make this change, to bear the burden of one income for a couple years and to love me and support me in this decision.

I know being a stay-at-home mom won’t be all sunshine and rainbows (but I can hope, can’t I). I know it will be hard on me physically, these little guys are active and FAST! I also know it will be the most rewarding job on the planet. I know my kids are growing up too fast and that they could use my love and attention now. Don’t they deserve a happier mom and don’t I deserve to be happy? We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I am going to treasure my babies now before it’s too late and I wonder where the time went. Cause these smiles make me happiest of all.

Deciding to be Happy

Are you a mom? Do you stay home or work outside the home? How do you feel about your decision? If you’ve got tips for a new stay-at-home mom to 3 active little boys, please share!  When have you decided to go with your heart? Until next time, giggle like your being tickled!

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You Know You’re a Mom When…Feb 15, 2013

 Posted by at 3:29 pm  Family, Uncategorized  17 Responses »
Feb 152013
 

I’m linking up with Andrea at Good Girl Gone Redneck and Sharing More Moments of Motherhood completing the phrase “You know you’re a mom when….”

Here’s my list this week of “You know you’re a mom when…”

1. You’ve repeated back to your kids the things your mom used to tell you…”Clean your room, it looks like a tornado hit it” or “at least comb your hair before you leave the house”!

2. You use vacation days from work to organize/catch up on housework while kids are at school/daycare…and you’re happy about it. No judging please but it’s a whole lot easier cleaning up when they aren’t right behind me, messing it up! Too bad hubby doesn’t agree this is a great use of “vacation” days.

3. You don’t need a thermometer to tell if your child has a fever. My most reliable method is kissing his forehead, a thermometer is just to confirm. Yep, I’m just like Marie from Everybody Loves Raymond without the bright red lipstick.

4. You can tell by the sound of footsteps, who is doing what and where. Case in point, the oldest is currently sneaking a snack out of the pantry.

5. You decide colors in your house by practicality. Never again will I have a white kitchen with white floors and cabinets. I’m thinking people who designed our everything-is-white-even-the-outside house did NOT have kids or dogs…or maybe lived alone….

6. You also conclude that the architect of your house did not have kids. While having the master bedroom/bathroom near the stairs is useful for when the kids are teenagers and try to sneak out, it is NOT useful when they are young and you’re trying to take a “relaxing” shower and it sounds like elephants are racing up/falling down the stairs.

7. You can no longer sleep in even if the kids are not in the house.

8. You plan trips based on how long it will take in a confined space to get there and what you can do to wear them out once you get to your destination. Relax isn’t necessarily a word in their vocabulary.

9. You buy mutliples of toys to avoid the meltdowns.

10. You’ve learned to pick your battles. You know what I mean…’nuff said.

Click on the button and share your moments of motherhood and the other bloggers who’ve linked up!

How did you know when you were a mom? What have you said to your kids that your mom said to you? I know you get ‘em, so share ‘em!

Sharing Moments of Motherhood

 Posted by at 8:47 am  Family, Uncategorized  9 Responses »
Jan 312013
 

I’m linking up with Andrea from Good Girl Gone Redneck to Share Moments of Motherhood (MOM).

Here’s my list of You Know You’re a Mom When….

1. Running out of milk, cereal, coffee, wine or beer IS a legitimate emergency.

2. Dinner conversation about poop no longer grosses you out. In fact, you come to expect it.

3. You’ve ever said “Get off the dog, she is not a horse!”, “I know the dog licked you, but don’t lick the dog!”, “Get your butt off the kitchen table!”, or “Why aren’t you wearing any underwear?”

4. You give the food cool, exciting names to entice kids to eat it.  To this day, it’s not farfalle with mushroom alfredo sauce, it’s just “Batman noodles”.

5. You tell a complete stranger or stranger’s kid to “be careful” or hold out your hands just in case they fall.

6. You do a little dance or party like it’ s 1999 every time your kids eat the healthy food you served them for dinner.

7.  Symphony of Flatulence is not only our Rock Band name but the music of our life.

8.  The  number of cups of coffee needed is directly (or perhaps, exponentially) proportional to the number of kids you have.

9.  You claim you need to have some alone time or a date with your amazing husband, but as soon as you are away from the kids, you think about them, miss them and talk about them.

10. Despite the messy, sticky, smelly boys, you look at their shining, smiling faces and know you couldn’t possibly love them any more.

This is a fun link-up and I look forward to hearing what your moments of motherhood are.  Click on the button below to be taken to the blog to link-up.
How would you complete the phrase “You Know You’re A Mom When…”? Link up with Andrea at Good Girl Gone Redneck or add your thoughts in the comments below!  

 

Message to my Middle Child

 Posted by at 8:31 pm  Family, Photography, Uncategorized  1 Response »
May 092012
 

Originally posted, February 2011

I continue my messages to those I cherish for the month of February, today is dedicated to my middle child, codename: Superstar.

I always thought we’d have more than one child. I grew up an only child and always longed for a sibling.  Once we finally brought our first beautiful baby home, I never suspected it’d be so difficult to get pregnant again.  When my oldest was 2 years old, we started trying for baby #2 and after 2 and a half years of no success despite fertility drugs, I’d given up.  I switched jobs and resumed strong medicine I needed to treat my Rheumatoid Arthritis. I suppose I was not as stressed out, bam!…the next month I got pregnant with miracle baby #2.  

What a miracle baby he is…I work at a hospital and was feeling uncomfortable during my 38th week of pregnancy. At the end of my workday, I called my doctor since I didn’t feel comfortable driving myself 45 minutes home.  Since I was only a few days before my due date and going to deliver at the hospital where I work, they told me to go get checked out.  The doctor informed me I was having contractions (not feeling them though) and that I came into work and would be going home with my baby! How thoughtful of my baby to wait till the end of the workday and not have me race to the hospital while having contractions! My bag was in the car, my husband met me in the hospital, the doc broke my water and a few hours later my darling Superstar entered the world.  

Our oldest son is such an amazing and handsome little man, we didn’t think we’d get so lucky that lightning would strike twice…but alas, it did!  My middle child is such a darling, he inherited my curly hair and everyone loves his hair.  It defines him, his wild, untamed, adorable locks goes with his personality.  I used to twirl his hair when feeding him a bottle or getting him to sleep.  As a result, all these years later, whenever he drinks milk, especially when he’s tired, he’ll drink with one hand, and twirl his hair with the other.  He was a very happy and sweet baby, I never saw someone who would smile like that first thing in the morning…within 30 seconds of picking him up from his crib, he was grinning ear to ear at me…what a beautiful sight to wake up to!  He has the most beautiful brown eyes and has since learned how to manipulate us, just by giving us that lovable face…very hard to resist and discipline!

He is a very passionate child and puts that passion in everything he does.  He loves, hugs, kisses, tickles, plays and fights hard.  He’s rambunctious and sweet, tough and loving…with him, there is no middle ground, you know exactly what he feels when he feels it.  He is such a loving child and tells me at no prompting, “i love you sweetheart” or “you are beautiful mommy, like a princess!” He seems to know just when mommy could use some loving words.

Although I must admit the child is quite an actor. If he doesn’t want to do something, he’ll act like he’s crying..so much so that he will actually force a tear out.  But, if we start laughing, since we know he’s just acting, he’ll burst out into laughter too…then stop, trying to cry again, we laugh, he laughs…and on and on for a while.  He has the most contagious best laugh! I can’t help laugh when he laughs and those big, brown eyes just sparkle when he laughs. 

He’s had a tough couple of years…when he was about 1 I had foot surgery and the next year i got pregnant.  Mommy wasn’t able to dote on him and do as much for him so he bonded more with his daddy.  He had some rough moments and I was worried about how he would react to his baby brother.  From the minute we brought the baby home, our middle child was such a loving, big brother to him.  Superstar ;still stands next to the rocking chair and sings the baby “Rock a Bye Baby” when I feed the baby his night bottle and tells the baby “you’re such a cute baby.” 

He enjoys reading, watching cartoons and playing football. I love when he grabs the football, tucks it under his little arm and starts to run away from his older brother, laughing the whole time.  We may have a future football guy on our hands.  He’s got the belly and stockiness on his side to be able to push his way through the defensive line.  Too bad they don’t have football in our area for 3 year olds…although i’d be a basket case if he actually does pursue football.

I look forward to seeing this little man further develop his unique personality and interests. He is a sweetheart of a little boy and I think he’ll be able to accomplish anything he sets his determined, passionate mind to.

I love you sweet punkin.

Ode to My Oldest Child

 Posted by at 8:18 pm  Family, Photography  3 Responses »
May 092012
 

Originally posted February, 2011…

Ok so i’m no poet, i have trouble writing ideas simply..but since February is the month of love, I’m appreciating my loved ones and first, my oldest son.

I endured surgery and bedrest to carry my oldest son to term and I cherished every day of my pregnancy with him and the 70 pounds I gained!  The weight didn’t matter, I came home a new mom with the cutest little bundle of joy and we were in heaven from day one.  He was such an easy baby, in retrospect, he ate well, slept well, he loved to read and play and he loved his momma.  We were attached at the hip and he’d lovingly go to other friends and family who reached out their hands to him…but he’d always come back to me if I asked.  I remember when he was 6 months old, my Superhubby asked, “When will he come to ME?” I was so proud, little did I know when I stopped nursing a month later, the tables would turn and he’d become his dad’s little buddy.

To this day, they are two of a kind, they both have the same hobbies and my son thinks his daddy is the coolest…and who am I to argue with that?  I love the bond they share, no I’m not at all jealous, ok maybe just a little.  Yet through these past few years, my oldest has always been one of the sweetest and smartest kids I have had the pleasure of knowing, no not just because I am his mom.  He’s brought us and others to tears with his thoughtfulness, his caring for his friends and family and just his gentle nature.  I don’t know how he got to be so sweet, after all, my Superhubby reminds me I would chase, tickle and kiss that child mercilessly as The Kissing Monster and he would scream in pure terror. I guess he may have gotten taller, but he still screams when he runs.   He’s still as sweet as can be and has assured me that even when he’s 40 years old, he’ll still let me give him big hugs and kisses and even gave me permission to come to his work and sing him “Happy Birthday!”…don’t tempt me, I’ll hold you to it, little man!

He is smart as a whip too…ever since he was 6 months old he loved to read books. I distinctly remember the first book he read to me…it is called Brave Bear and it has the most beautifully simple painted pictures of simple conversation with this bear trying to climb a tree to help a baby bird.  I would read it to him everyday and he’d watch and listen closely, apparently absorbing every action I did and inflection in my voice as I read.  He was probably 20 months old and we took him to the beach…in the hotel room, he took out the book and read every page to me, word for word, action by action in the same baby talk version of the voice I used.  I couldn’t believe my eyes or ears, he had no idea what the words on the page said but he had memorized every page from us reading it to him.  He amazed me! He continues to amaze me with his love for reading and learning.  When he really wants to do something, he can do anything! He’s read more books in his childhood, then I can ever remember reading for pleasure and I hope his thirst for knowledge continues.

He’s become a big brother since then, of 2 adorably mischievous little people.  I hope they learn his kind nature from him…they beat up on him and he can be so patient with them, when he wants to.  Granted, they have their moments when it is not pure bliss but I could not ask for a better big brother. He reads to them, plays with them and loves to take care of them.  In fact, he used to read to me when I was pregnant with his first baby brother. He was only 5 at the time but he longed for the day he could hold the baby.  I’d pick him up from school, lie my exhausted body on the couch, and he’d read to me and the baby.  My oldest wanted to hold the baby as soon as he met him.  He sat on the chair, we put a pillow on his lap and the baby in his arms. He spoke tenderly and sweetly to the baby and the baby, who cried in anyone’s but mommy arms, immediately started cooing at the sound of his big brother’s voice…priceless.

So to the oldest of my pride and joys, I love you with all my heart my little man and I look forward to seeing the kind of great person I know you will be. I am so proud of you.

Some of his favorite books over the years (these are not affiliate links):

Brave Bear by Kathy Mallat
Are You Grumpy Santa?
Harry Potter series
I guess there are too many to link to….that’s why we go to the library!

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