I’m tackling something different today and linking up with Shell at Things I Can’t Say for her Pour Your Heart Out Series. Just writing to let you know what’s been on my mind and get to know me a little better.
Here’s what Pour Your Heart Out is about:
Pour Your Heart Out
Write a post from the heart.
Something that has been weighing on you.
Something you feel passionately about.
Something you’ve been wanting to talk about.
A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.
I don’t want to assign you a topic because I really want this to be from your heart.
The day the doctor puts that cute bundle of joy in your arms for the first time, the guilt starts. Mom guilt. Will I be a good enough mom? Should I work outside the home for a living? Or should I stay home?
The age old debate of working mom vs. stay-at-home mom is never black and white and I truly believe each mom makes the best choice for her family. My oldest son is in middle school and until today, I have worked full-time. I thought it was the best decision given my circumstance. And I say decision, but I didn’t really feel that I had a choice.
I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and the medicine alone that allows me to walk and take care of my family costs upwards of $20,000 a year for someone who is not insured. I need that medicine, I need health insurance to pay for it, and so I need employer’s health insurance to guarantee my medical care. I know my personal health and consequently my family would suffer if I ever become uninsured. So I continued to work. I didn’t want to place the burden of making sure I’m covered on my husband’s shoulders.
After all these years, I’ve come to a cross-roads. The job started becoming too stressful. The stress causes me to flare into joint pain. I can feel the pain start shooting through my body the more I vented my frustrations and feel trapped by the situation. I felt even worse that my stress at work was causing me more stress at home, less patience, more fatigue. I thought I was becoming depressed and that I couldn’t handle the pressure. Something had to give, I couldn’t continue living like that.
My loving and amazing Superhubby has always told me I could stay home after the kids were born. We’d manage financially. Every Sunday, I’d question whether I should quit Monday morning and I kept saying no. Finally last month, I hit my rock bottom and I said yes. Tomorrow is my last day at my employer.
Having the burden of work lifted off of me has already made me start feeling better, emotionally and physically. I feel like I’ve finally been able to choose happiness and go with my heart. I am ever grateful to my Superhubby for allowing me to make this change, to bear the burden of one income for a couple years and to love me and support me in this decision.
I know being a stay-at-home mom won’t be all sunshine and rainbows (but I can hope, can’t I). I know it will be hard on me physically, these little guys are active and FAST! I also know it will be the most rewarding job on the planet. I know my kids are growing up too fast and that they could use my love and attention now. Don’t they deserve a happier mom and don’t I deserve to be happy? We don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I am going to treasure my babies now before it’s too late and I wonder where the time went. Cause these smiles make me happiest of all.
Are you a mom? Do you stay home or work outside the home? How do you feel about your decision? If you’ve got tips for a new stay-at-home mom to 3 active little boys, please share! When have you decided to go with your heart? Until next time, giggle like your being tickled!