What Powers Your Happy? + 3 Ways to Find YOUR Passion in Life (Besides Your Family)
What powers your happy? Who are you? What are you passionate about? What do you enjoy doing just for YOURSELF? Can you give me an answer of something you enjoy that is NOT somehow tied to your family, your job or your other commitments? Do you need help to find YOUR passion?
I know as moms, we often feel like we lose our identities when our kids are born. We are so focused on being the “perfect” mom and providing our kids with everything they need to be happy and successful in whatever they endeavor to do, that we often forget to take care of ourselves and do the things we are passionate about. Have you done it? I know I did for far too long!
But what happens then when the kids leave the house and you are left with an empty nest? Is that when you start finding what you are passionate about? Start living the life you dreamed of? Start fulfilling some of the goals you had that were just yours? Start embarking on a new career? Start traveling the world?
Why wait to find what drives you, what you enjoy, what you are passionate about (other than your family)? You will be a happier, more centered, healthier person for your family if you take care of yourself first. Moms are typically the glue that holds together a family, the heart and soul that keeps everyone going. You need to take care of your happiness in order to spread happiness to them.
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My Journey to Find My Passion
I came to the realization a few years ago that I really needed to find what I loved to do. I live with 4 boys: 3 adorable sons and a superhero loving husband. All my free time was spent doing what the boys wanted to do. I wanted to make them happy so I went along with their hobbies and certainly had plenty of fun.
But if they weren’t around, I had no clue what to do to have fun just for me. My husband and I give each other “nights off” every week from parenting duty. It was our free night to relax, hang out with our friends, and do whatever we wanted. I started having to find ways to fill that night.
I took up coloring. I started reading more. I planned girls nights out and book club meetings with my friends. I discovered how much I loved blogging and there lied my passion and purpose. I became a little bit happier each time I colored away some stress. Or escaped to a foreign land in a book. Or got that boost of happy hormones from talking with my friends. Or felt fulfilled and rewarded that I wrote a blog post that helped even just one person with whatever they are struggling with.
And as I became happier, I saw my family’s quality of life improving too. There was more cuddling, laughing and playing. I was more focused and present in the little moments. I smiled more and my boys knew I am happier than I’ve ever been.
So How Do You Find YOUR Passion? 3 Ways to Find Your Passion
I love reading books about personal productivity and organization and sharing tips on what I learn. I was reading Power Your Happy: Work Hard, Play Nice & Build Your Dream Life* by Lisa Sugar, founder of the wildly popular website POPSUGAR and she gives us great insight on finding your passion and figuring out how to make a career out of it. I’ve got some of her tips and my thoughts to give you 3 ways to find your passion so you can achieve your dream life.
1. What do you WANT to do? What would you rather be doing?
In Power Your Happy*, Lisa said,
I firmly believe that what you find yourself doing in your spare time is the passion you should pursue. Don’t decide what you want to do with your life; let your life tell you what your path is.”
I think that is so true! I think about my blog a lot, in just about every quiet moment of the day. When I’m cleaning, when I go for my morning walks, when I’m running errands. I love brainstorming new ideas to help my readers celebrate their lives and thrive with what they’ve been given. I dream about making a career out of doing something I love (if you dream about blogging for a career, make sure to read to the bottom of this post).
As the mom of a teen, I want my son to have his dream job too. I don’t want him to feel stuck in his career. I want him to pursue a path where he’ll love going to work everyday. As he thinks about going to college, we’re talking with him about what he enjoys and what possible careers could evolve.
The kid spews sports statistics, he loves watching just about any sporting event and in what little spare time he has, he’s watching sports videos and reading fact books. It got to the point where I thought, goodness, can this kid talk about anything else? But it also got me thinking, sports are clearly his passion, what kind of career could he make of it? A sportscaster? A journalist? A statistician? A sports marketer or agent? A businessperson for a team? If he can succeed doing something he loves, it won’t feel like work at all.
What do you think about in your spare time? What “I’d rather be…” bumper sticker would you have on your car?
2. What Does Your Ideal Day Look Like?
In Power Your Happy*, Lisa said,
Think about what’s on the agenda of your best day ever and let that list govern your decisions.
I talked about what my ideal day looks like here and really I crave a balance between juggling all my roles between wife, mom and blogger. I would love to hang out on the beach, under a beautiful tree at the park, or at a bookstore with my book and computer talking with other book lovers. I love enjoying getting outside with the kids, whether it’s on a trail or at the soccer park, my achy joints crave sunshine, it recharges me (confession: I am Supergirl who is recharged by the yellow sun).
What does your ideal day look like? Maybe you’ve already had your best day ever that you can focus on. Jot down what your ideal day looks like, find a picture of what it might look like and hang it on your fridge, frame it for the wall, tape it into your planner, save it as your phone or computer wallpaper. Put it somewhere you will remember it so you can strive to make your ideal days happen more often.
3. What are You Good At?
In Power Your Happy*, Lisa said,
…learn how to take a compliment. When people are saying “thank you” or pointing out how awesome you are at something, take note….Whatever it is, if you enjoyed spending your time doing this thing someone thinks you are good at, you might be able to turn that strength into a career. Find inspiration in yourself by taking cues from your daily conversations and actions.”
There’s nothing better than feeling appreciated for your work. When I worked full-time in a very stressful job as an internal auditor, the one thing that made it better was a simple “thank you” from my boss. I worked in a nonprofit, so monetary bonuses and gifts were not incentives. But her simple appreciation for my work motivated me to want to work hard for her. Nowadays, I love when my boys rave about my cooking or when a reader comments or emails me about something I wrote that touched or inspired them.
What do you get compliments about? Or do you just say “thank you” and don’t remember that they were ever said? It may be narcissistic, but I actually write mine down as small victories or under the “Good Things That Happened” in my Passion Planner. I try to do one a day but on a good day, there are more than one. If I’m feeling down or feel like reminiscing, I read them and it brings happiness to a moment of weakness or struggle.
I encourage you to write down your compliments. Say “thank you” more often and you’ll start hearing “thank you” more in return. Do more of what you’re good at. Schedule the time if you need to. Your happiness is worth the time for your self-worth and as the happy center of your family.
If Blogging is Your Passion and Dream Career, You NEED This!
I make no secret that I want to make an income out of my blog. The best investment I made in my blogging career is to purchase Elite Blog Academy* last year. This comprehensive course guides you step-by-step through refining your message to create a loyal tribe of fans, growing your traffic, monetizing your platform and building your business.
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I love that idea of writing down your compliments as a way to know what you’re good at. I know I’m guilty of just plowing ahead through the day without really reflecting and taking the time to appreciate being noticed. Seems like a great book!
These are some great tips for finding our passions in life. I never dreamed blogging would turn into such a huge part of my life, but I’m feel so utterly blessed to be able to do it.
What a wonderful & inspiring post, Tanya! I think all of us bloggers have found our passions, to at least some extent, because we blog about things we are passionate about! Books, obviously, for me, though I also blog about food & cooking and travel & the outdoors. And, as you alluded to, helping other people is also a passion of mine, which is why I put so much time into my chronic illness blog, too, as well as FB groups for chronic illness.
I have been giving this some thought myself lately, in terms of that empty next you mentioned, Ours is no longer theoretical! My husband is 11 years older than me, so I started thinking, “when he retires (in the next couple of years, probably) and we are traveling more, what kind of writing do I REALLY want to focus on?” I decided that I should start NOW to focus more on those areas I am passionate about, not just any old topic. I definitely want to focus in mainly on books, pop culture (like movies & TV in addition to books), and travel.
So, I’m babbling now – you can see your post got me excited! And I definitely need a LOT of work on my blogs – the problem is how to fit it in! I have a chicken-and-egg problem right now – I feel I need to focus my writing time on work that pays, but if I could just devote more time to my blogs, then that could be paid writing, too!
I will check out the resources you listed – thanks!
Sue
Book By Book
You know my passion–books–reading them, collecting them, talking about them. I have tried having other passions, for a while, and I really enjoyed them: quilting, crocheting, even playing the mandolin! But usually the books have crowded them out and just seem to grab all my spare attention. However, what I read, the topics–that is really the locus of my evolving passion over the years. That definitely changes over time, and provides a way for me to learn more about what new thing has sparked my interest. Lately, I’ve been listening to podcasts of some of my favorite authors and radio hosts. When I get up early, I really look forward to one or two of my favorite podcasts. I’m glad that you discovered your passion for blogging, something we can share! 🙂